Last summer I did a piece on British designer and spy (you read right) Teddy Tinling, specifically his tennis couture back in the day when the stars of ladies' tennis didn't have Adidas and Nike sponsorship but rather had custom costumes made for each event. And Teddy was the man to go to.
Our Teddy, when not clandestinely gathering intelligence for the British government or making frilly panties to wear under tennis skirts (I'm SO serious!) was creating themed sportswear collections. And this is one of them.
Here we have some highlights from Tinling's 1956 South Pacific resort wear show in London, complete with accompanying narration that will seriously make you blow snot, especially when you hear it for yourself (the narrator could be an ancestor of South Park's Terrance and Philip).
"These two outfits give us food for thought for the tasty flavour":
"Even the sequins on Marianne’s playsuit are waterproof so that she can ride the surf in style, or hook her fisherman":
This outfit is called 'The Midnight Stranger' - not creepy at all!
"For couples who want to make sure everyone knows they are going out together, this double harlequin set makes it plain to see - though plain is not the word for the effect."
This is a great alternative for couples who are getting bored of their matching nylon windsuits:
"Fijian beach pyjamas like Shirley’s could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and makes the boyfriend throw in the towel."
To the ladies who have been patiently waiting for their feet shuffling boyfriends to propose: You just haven't let him see you in the right island-themed pyjamas, you silly goose!
I have to admit this heart shaped swimsuit is just so cute!
Oh my, how the front row has changed. No Anna Wintour, no Kanye, no starlet of the moment. But that one woman is a ringer for the Queen:
There's more fun(ny) fashion to come with even worse chauvinistic narration. Way worse!