The Swelle Life

Vanessa Paradis Rocks the Cover of French Vogue

Trés jolie, Mlle Paradis. Naysayers, please shove it, now.

Vanessa Paradis fears the red carpet, appreciates being spat on

Elle UK interviewed Vanessa Paradis for their November issue, and it was an easily digestible, enjoyable read about the singer, actress, sometime model and girlfriend of the man at the top of nearly every woman's 'freebie' list.

Let's see...what is there that we don't already know (although she is a private person, there are few secrets to reveal when you are a genuinely family-oriented, non-Hollywood-type star and your only vice being a nicotine addiction and penchant for Chanel).

To start, Paradis seriously dislikes the red carpet. She finds it "stressful" and "weird". That makes her normal. (I find it strange that people get dressed up after a week's worth of beauty prep to walk down a rug of pre-determined hue to pose for mobs of photographers while pulling shapes they practice at home in the mirror. I would laugh my Neil Lane earrings off if, in another life, I had to perform such a ritual.) She goes on to say, "The red carpet is really not something that I know how to work. It intimidates me. I feel very tiny."

And you can tell - she does, at times, seem to be shrinking into herself when you see the photos that she dreads posing for. Which is quite endearing, considering she is likely one of the few people at these events who actually has reason to stand tall and proud.

Paradis also revealed that her and Johnny Depp have never set a wedding date (where do these rumours come from, they have menus and everything!). And while it's something they may do one day, she considers herself "more married than one can be" and that "when things are so perfect" it's something they can "really do without."

After finding stardom at the tender age of 14 with her hit Joe le Taxi, she tells how random people shouted at her in the streets of Paris, pulled her hair, and actually spat at her. The French must have a serious intolerance of over-exposure. (In case you didn't know - 'le taxi' refers to both the taxi and the driver in French, she's not actually singing about a taxi, which is what I thought for some time. It makes more sense now.) But it's all good, she rationalises that "maybe the people insulting me and spitting on me prevented me from being all sure of myself and rude and the rest of it." Now that's a well-adjusted human being.

Karl Lagerfeld found his way into the conversation, the entrance being the Chanel commercial for Coco where she played a bird in a guilded cage, and the accompanying print ad where they elongated her tiny legs so much they wound up being more than twice the length of her torso. About KL - she says he's "just so much fun." And apparently he's quite a story-teller. No doubt he has an endless supply.

As for home-grown fashion, she says, "If I could give every woman a piece of Chanel, I would - we should all know the excitement of it." I agree. And there's no reason you can't try, starting right here. She also "loves the clothes, accessories and the imagery" of the Miu Miu campaigns so it was a no-brainer when they asked her to be the new face for fall. And she does turn a lot of work down (like the Calvin Klein campaign that in the end went to a then unknown Kate Moss) - this isn't sycophantic praise.

She's also a collector of vintage clothing - her and Johnny share a love of fashion from 1910 to 1940 - evident by the stunning red carpet appearances she manages to endure for Johnny's sake. She also "adores" Vanessa Bruno, Antik Batik and Marc Jacobs. Naturellement. Surprisingly, she's a huge fan of Betsey Johnson. I didn't see that one coming. Hmmm...but if you remove the voluminous tulle-skirted prom dresses and keep the Victorian jackets and corsets, maybe it does make sense.

Don't ever change, Vanessa.

Vanessa Paradis To Play Midwife in New Film

For you Vanessa Paradis fans who are challenged by subtitles (I know, they're especially hard to follow when you're trying to eat a hard-shell taco at the same time) - good news! ScreenDaily.com reports she's been signed on to play the lead in her first English-language film, Midwife Crisis. The 'offbeat, romantic comedy' is about a strange love affair between a midwife and a loan shark. Mabrouk El Mechri of JVCD fame will direct, so it could be interesting. Shooting starts in spring 2009 in New York City.

Image: scan from Italian Vanity Fair, October 2007

Vanessa Paradis is in For Miu Miu and so is Scuba Diving

Vanessa Paradis is officially in as Miu Miu's latest face (you've probably already seen the ads in your favourite fashion mag), replacing Kirsten Dunst. The campaigns are shot by Mert Alas and Marcus Piggot, so we've got the same rich hued, dramatic feel with a different porcelain face and new clothes which are now 'scuba inspired'. You read right. The bowling bag would be very cool, as an actual bowling bag (until your ball fell through the bottom).

I love Vanessa, and she looks fantastic here. But I have to say I thought Maggie Gyllenhaal was the most fitting choice, she's totally Miu Miu (at least she was at the time). She made sense of the brand. 

If you ever wanted to know what Vanessa Paradis' jawline looks like from every conceivable angle, this campaign is for you (from MiuMiu.com:

Bienvenue Vanessa Paradis, So Long Kirsten Dunst

 

According to Women's Wear Daily, Vanessa Paradis is the new face of Miu Miu (YES!), replacing Kirsten Dunst. Vanessa will appear in the brand's upcoming fall campaign. Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott will be back to photograph the ads.

After having to endure Lindsay Lohan's mug in my favourite mags (never mind that Jessica Simpson was rumoured to have been the original, shocking choice for that campaign so we were screwed either way), I loudly applaud Miu Miu's return to collaborating with the innately and enduringly stylish, not to mention actually talented (does that matter any more?).

Vanessa has many times been the face of Chanel beginning at age 18 and more interestingly, was Calvin Klein's first choice for the 1992 campaign that made Kate Moss famous. Vanessa turned it down, and who knows if the name Kate Moss would mean anything to us today, had she not. She even got Johnny Depp in the end after Kate blew it. (Rumour has it she's still not over losing him. Ouch. I'm sorry but if she thinks hoovering lines with Pete Doherty, in her thirties, with a young daughter at home is time well spent, she never deserved him in the first place. There, I said it and I'll never mention it again).

Can't wait to see the new photos, I can read now my magazines without having to peer cautiously at the next page through my fingers.

Vanessa with good friend and occasional employer Karl Lagerfeld, creative director of Chanel (any opportunity to include a photo of Karl Lagerfeld should be eagerly seized upon):

Vanessa Paradis Does Not Need Our Pity

Over the past few days I've borne witness to the online blogger/message board beatdown that is relentlessly being inflicted on Vanessa Paradis, French chanteuse, actress and occasional Chanel model, and most famously (outside of Europe), the woman who shares toilet paper with Johnny Depp. I felt compelled to respond.

I don't want to perpetuate the mindless mockery aimed at Vanessa so I won't reiterate what's being said, but let's keep it polite and say that people don't think she looks good and therefore doesn't deserve Johnny Depp. Most weren't aware of her until Johnny started dating her ten years ago, and she's since flown low on the radar in terms of their infrequent appearances in the U.S. So it hasn't really been until now, as rumours abound about an impending wedding, that she's been the keyboard jockeys' focus of negative attention. And I'm at odds with that, in a big way.

I first became aware of Vanessa Paradis in 1992 when I picked up the latest issue of Details magazine. She was one of the features as she had just completed an album, produced by a still dreadlocked Lenny Kravitz, and there were a few full-page photos of her that made me stop dead. I was 21 at the time, a year older than her and I was awestruck by her doll-like beauty. I guess you could call it a girl-crush, my first thought was 'I'll trade you.' She jumped off the page, she really had something that was lacking on our side of the pond.

There was only one other time, when I loved Olivia Newton-John. (Warning - embarking on a tangent so if you want to hear it click here.)

Right, so...Vanessa Paradis. She was unbelievably gorgeous and so she's started aging and she never fixed the gap in her teeth. Refreshing, is it not? To be comfortable in your own skin? To not mutilate oneself in a Presley-esque manner in a desperate effort to hang on to your 20 year-old face? It's not a mystery what Johnny sees in her - he's obsessed with 1920s Paris and she's French, his passion is music and she's a singer, and since he's been with her there's been no tearing up hotel rooms and punching out paparazzi (though you couldn't blame him for the latter).

Imagine their children's cheekbones. That's more than enough reason to bless their union.

*These were scanned, they're from the early 90s. And look in the sidebar for her latest video.