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October 28, 2009

A Gossipy Swelle Giveaway: Win a Custom Embroidered T-shirt from Miss Jacqueline White!


I am so excited about this giveaway, it couldn't be more fun. Or more racy. It's based on a scenario that it is all too familiar for so many of us girls: You meet a guy, sparks fly and one thing leads to another. A magical encounter ensues and the world is all rainbows, sunshine and bluebirds singing sweet songs. Until the next words out of Mr. Wonderful's mouth are "Did you used to be a bit of a slag?"

The horror! Ring any bells? For Miss Jacqueline White, a London-based fashion and costume designer and stylist who can create just about anything, it was these very pitfalls of dating that provided her lightbulb moment. After enduring the unthinkable and listening to her friends' own shocking tales of pillow talk faux pas she began collecting these 'post-coital clangers' (love that) and embroidering them on T-shirts along with the date and location of the love crime, which became her debut collection. This saucy siren will not suffer in silence.

Other wicked utterings include "Spare me the lifestory"; "Just don't fall in love with me"; "I run with a pretty sexy crowd" (that one is highly laughable) and gasp "As a woman you have nothing to offer the world." Oh no he didn't. Oh yes, he did. 

Fullscreen capture 27102009 235056-1 In summer I received an invite to 'Naughty Launderette', the launch of the collection which was held in - you guessed it - a launderette, perfectly befitting the theme of airing one's dirty laundry. But unfortunately I couldn't attend as I was in Canada. However I couldn't let it end there when I saw what it was all about. I thought the concept behind the collection was an absolute riot and the T-shirts beautifully crafted; I knew I had to feature this precocious and intriguing designer. We discussed a contest and then Miss Jacqueline White generously offered to embroider the winning clanger on one of her original appliquéd woman-in-the-throes-of-passion T-shirts. Brilliant!

So, if you're willing to share/confess/blubber the cocky communiqué that put the passion in the crapper, you could win your very own bespoke Miss Jacqueline White piece!

Now, certainly this behaviour is not limited to girl/guy relationships as nastiness in intimate situations knows no bounds, so this contest is open to anyone who has done the shame walk home shaking their and asking the world in general "Did he/she really say that to me??"

To enter, give us the dirt in the comments section of this post - and feel free to use an alias if you feel you need to! Anyone, anywhere, can enter. The contest will run until midnight of Sunday, November 8, London time. The super lucky winner will be drawn at random, and announced on Monday.

For an extra entry for each, you can:

So, do all four - be sure to tell me! - and you get four extra entries! And be sure to check out Miss Jacqueline White's website to shop and see photos from the Naughty Launderette and her creative styling.

Read on to learn more about the fabulous Miss Jacqueline White - she gives great interview:

While your debut collection is far more than just another range of T-shirts, did it feel more restrained than the other side of your work, as in the over-the-top styling and costume for bands?

It certainly did feel different. I had collected a lot of material/stories, many of which had to be discarded because I thought the language was too strong, or they were simply too sad or nasty. The practicalities of designing and producing a viable collection I found challenging, rather than restraining. I had to think about a range of body shapes, rather than just one client, that is why each of the women's is a different cut. I also had to consider durability, washing, and of course the dreaded budgeting - for example: Are individually laser cut perspex size labels justified? YES.

MJW You're very talented with print, embroidery and appliqué, three techniques that make our hearts beat faster. Will you be applying your skills to your next collection?

Yes. There will also be embroidery on the men's, without appliqué, and with less colour. Lots of men have requested I make versions of the women's for them. The material for the next collection is proving very difficult to gather. I can't really say anymore without spoiling the surprise...

Ooh, the anticipation! So, it seems you're a heroine of sorts for exposing such naughty behaviour and turning it back on these callous culprits. How does it feel to be the liberator of the heinous memories these East London girls have been carrying around for years?

I love it, actually. I am something of a naughty heroine amongst the girls, and the boys just seem to think I'm even naughtier than they did before. I don't think I have been to a dinner party in the last year without the whole thing pouring out, followed by lots of drunken reminiscing or confessions. It feels good to 'out' these men, because really we are having the last laugh.

Good work! Has there been any backlash from the outed 'acquaintances?'

Hmm...Some of them know, some don't. The ones who do know actually love it, and see it as an affirmation of their bachelorness. One past fling seemed genuinely disappointed when he did not make the final cut.

I thought the collection might affect my love life in a negative way but instead the opposite happened. A recent lover made me laugh so much when his first post-coital comment was 'What do I have to say to get on a T-shirt?"

Fullscreen capture 28102009 001111 Ha! Well, that's one way for a girl to gain the upper hand! What's next for Miss Jacqueline White?

Apart from boshing out loads of Ts for Christmas...I have a couple of massive commercials, just finished one for an airline, about to start a crazy one involving animatronics in the costumes, which is a first for me so it will be pretty interesting. I move into my new studio in three weeks which I cannot wait for. It is a very unusual space, a glass box inside an old office block at London Fields. But my mind and time are completely preoccupied with Miss Tahita Bulmer at the moment, in the build up to the launch of the second album from New Young Pony Club. We are shooting the cover in three weeks, and the album launches in January 2010. I am very excited about the new looks we have created, and quietly confident that we will wipe the floor without joining in the freakshow which seems to be going on in female pop star styling at the moment. It's not sexy, is it?


Sexy? I'd have to agree and say not. I cannot wait to see what she's got in the works. 

Fullscreen capture 27102009 234235



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Oh my, we were just discussing this...

One of my childhood-guy-friend was once the happy gigolo of the hood.
He was going with another friend, and the one more friend and her sister.

He asked the first: "Can I borrow that bottle of lice shampoo?..she has crabs too" (..and her sister too).

He then reverted to "Safe Sex", directing the each one: "You touch your Self and I'll touch mine, and we'll watch each other, then we'll all be fine".

While driving, he kissed the girl in the passenger seat, and then leaned back to reach the girl in the back, and then realized I was un-attended and offered: "If you want some too, just jump in".

He really was a "Giver".

Great contest! I have too many stories but the one that fits this is when after a night out I ended up back at the guy's place, then 'after' he said 'I'm told I'm a terrible snorer so you probably won't want to sleep here.' I told him he was a terrible liar and beat it for the door! Lesson learned.

ha! hilarious!

Fun t-shirts! I love that last one!! xx

Nothing too crazy, but it is still was shocking...

"Don't expect me to ask you how it was."

i've had really horrible dating experiences. very controlling not worth a dime of my time relationship. just real jerks.
i once hid in a closet in a guy room NAKED as he had a full out conversation with his mom. she never knew i was there. a little sneaky. but totally awkward.

i am a follower of both
jacqueline White and the swelle life!

Years ago, I'm reminded about the guy who told me about his wife long after the fact, like weeks later. Thanks for the heads up guy!

Wow, there are some real..zingers here!

Ok, so like I said on Twitter, the only cringeworthy experience that comes to mind is when this guy only, er, lasted...I'm thinking MAYBE ten minutes? That's a very generous estimate. & then follows that experience up with "that was so good, the neighbors'll need a cigarette! haha".

Whatever you tell yourself, dude!

also, I followed Jacqueline on Twitter! (@_chelleshock). :)

Ah so many dating disasters but I won't bore you with all of them! Just one.. I met this Polish guy who was lovely - he was a real smooth talker, knew exactly the words I wanted to hear but he was all mouth no trousers.. evidently as half way through the nite something slipped off/'went missing' "where is it?" "oh it's here" he pulled something out from the other side of the bed.. ok -why's it over there?? I was mortified as I wasn't on the pill HE KNEW THIS so I spitefully said "oh that's ok.. maybe I want Polish children" and asked him to leave, he must have panicked the next morning as he left loads of messages begging me to take something.. "It's playing on my mind.. I'm sure we'll be able to laugh about this in the future..it's best for both our sakes..there's no reason not to..please be understanding" etc etc.. Cringy but true. Sorry!!

oh and I'm following both Jacqueline White on twitter and the Swelle life on both twitter & fb :)

ok I will tell you one of my date disasters.
I had a long term male friend, we decided to sleep together and arranged it for one afternoon.
ok he arrived and we went upstairs and began.
My god he was huge down below, I proceeded to carry on the best I could without shouting out.
All finished and he left.
Well i could hardly walk, it was awful. I never told him and have never slept with him since.
I follow you both on twitter and tweeted the comp @sherieannb

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