Vanessa Paradis fears the red carpet, appreciates being spat on

Elle UK interviewed Vanessa Paradis for their November issue, and it was an easily digestible, enjoyable read about the singer, actress, sometime model and girlfriend of the man at the top of nearly every woman's 'freebie' list.

Let's see...what is there that we don't already know (although she is a private person, there are few secrets to reveal when you are a genuinely family-oriented, non-Hollywood-type star and your only vice being a nicotine addiction and penchant for Chanel).

To start, Paradis seriously dislikes the red carpet. She finds it "stressful" and "weird". That makes her normal. (I find it strange that people get dressed up after a week's worth of beauty prep to walk down a rug of pre-determined hue to pose for mobs of photographers while pulling shapes they practice at home in the mirror. I would laugh my Neil Lane earrings off if, in another life, I had to perform such a ritual.) She goes on to say, "The red carpet is really not something that I know how to work. It intimidates me. I feel very tiny."

And you can tell - she does, at times, seem to be shrinking into herself when you see the photos that she dreads posing for. Which is quite endearing, considering she is likely one of the few people at these events who actually has reason to stand tall and proud.

Paradis also revealed that her and Johnny Depp have never set a wedding date (where do these rumours come from, they have menus and everything!). And while it's something they may do one day, she considers herself "more married than one can be" and that "when things are so perfect" it's something they can "really do without."

After finding stardom at the tender age of 14 with her hit Joe le Taxi, she tells how random people shouted at her in the streets of Paris, pulled her hair, and actually spat at her. The French must have a serious intolerance of over-exposure. (In case you didn't know - 'le taxi' refers to both the taxi and the driver in French, she's not actually singing about a taxi, which is what I thought for some time. It makes more sense now.) But it's all good, she rationalises that "maybe the people insulting me and spitting on me prevented me from being all sure of myself and rude and the rest of it." Now that's a well-adjusted human being.

Karl Lagerfeld found his way into the conversation, the entrance being the Chanel commercial for Coco where she played a bird in a guilded cage, and the accompanying print ad where they elongated her tiny legs so much they wound up being more than twice the length of her torso. About KL - she says he's "just so much fun." And apparently he's quite a story-teller. No doubt he has an endless supply.

As for home-grown fashion, she says, "If I could give every woman a piece of Chanel, I would - we should all know the excitement of it." I agree. And there's no reason you can't try, starting right here. She also "loves the clothes, accessories and the imagery" of the Miu Miu campaigns so it was a no-brainer when they asked her to be the new face for fall. And she does turn a lot of work down (like the Calvin Klein campaign that in the end went to a then unknown Kate Moss) - this isn't sycophantic praise.

She's also a collector of vintage clothing - her and Johnny share a love of fashion from 1910 to 1940 - evident by the stunning red carpet appearances she manages to endure for Johnny's sake. She also "adores" Vanessa Bruno, Antik Batik and Marc Jacobs. Naturellement. Surprisingly, she's a huge fan of Betsey Johnson. I didn't see that one coming. Hmmm...but if you remove the voluminous tulle-skirted prom dresses and keep the Victorian jackets and corsets, maybe it does make sense.

Don't ever change, Vanessa.