You smell putrid, is that Sécrétions Magnifiques you're wearing?

Well, at least it's not Britney Spears scent #5. Now available in the U.S. and Canada, French niche perfumerie État Libre d'Orange offers the more adventurous purveyor of olfactory delights (or more accurately, an alternative to them) Antoine Lie's Sécrétions Magnifiques, which translates to 'Magnificent Secretions'.

There's no 'lost in translation' thing going on here - they mean exactly what the name suggests. With notes that resemble blood, sweat, saliva, and uh, uh, sperm, the scent is meant to invoke associations that are aligned to the wearer's experiences. So, upon taking a whiff, a nun may say 'How metallic and salty' and a 'non'-nun may ask 'Where's the mouthwash?'

The actual logo for Sécrétions Magnifiques is one I can't even show here (well, I could. But if offends my tender sensibilities). Take a look at the État Libre d'Orange website Parfum page if you want to see it and other, uh, interesting artwork for the rest of the line, which includes Putain des Palaces. Panty sniffers rejoice.